In December 2015, Serbian Defense Minister Bratislav Gašić took part in an interview. The journalist asked him questions, but the camera was inconveniently located, so she had to sit down in order to avoid obscuring the minister. In response to her actions, he joked: “How much I love the journalists who so easily kneel down.”
The public rebelled and soon after the incident, the minister was fired. But why did the minister find it funny and appropriate?
Cambridge Dictionary defines humor as “the ability to find things funny, the way in which people see that some things are funny, or the quality of being funny”. However, humor is not just about fun — it can also serve as a form of protest, a subtle insult, or an attempt to find common ground.
At this point, the study of humor has not revealed a common equation for understanding why we laugh and what exactly makes a joke funny. We have several, most probable theories, but none of these theories fits absolutely every situation and every society. A joke may fit several theories at the same time, or not fit any of them.
By saying “how much I love the journalists who so easily kneel down,” Gašić places the journalist, the target of the joke, in a sexualized situation, objectifying and demeaning her. The meaning behind the words contains a clear sexual undertone, disguised as a seemingly innocent phrase. He doesn’t directly refer to sexual acts but hides this implication behind a vague expression to avoid direct accusations. This type of humor can be explained mainly by two theories.
The Relief Theory, popularized by Freud in 1905, is based on the idea that humor helps release internal tension. Society often condemns “dirty jokes,” which only makes them more amusing — it’s like walking a fine line between what’s acceptable and what’s not.
One example of this is humor as a response to censorship. In the Soviet Union, people relied on anecdotes to secretly mock those in power. Strict censorship of official humor forced people to create their own hidden ways of expressing criticism. This type of humor often relies on irony, where the real meaning of the joke is disguised behind an innocent-sounding phrase. The ambiguity allows people to avoid direct accusations while still getting their message across.
A similar mechanism works in workplaces: a manager can openly criticize employees, but an employee can’t respond the same way due to hierarchy. Instead, they might use irony – subtle but sharp – to push back without risking their job.
The Superiority Theory, developed by Plato, explains humor through hierarchy. We often laugh at those who are weaker, clumsier, or less fortunate because it reinforces our sense of status, meaning that you are “superior” to them. Classic Charlie Chaplin films are a great example — his character struggles, stumbles, and suffers, making us feel both sympathy and amusement. According to this theory, it is crucial to maintain distance between the joke and yourself.
The example with Bratislav Gašić demonstrates both theories too. He is at a social distance from the journalist: he is not subject to sexism, he is being interviewed, and she has to kneel so that he is visible in the camera — The Superiority Theory. His joke could also be an example of The Relief Theory. In this case, humor might serve as a way to distract attention from the awkwardness of the situation and relieve his own tension, masking the real imbalance in the situation.
Dark humor, while often seen as controversial, can also have positive effects by providing psychological distance from uncomfortable or distressing topics. According to a study published in the journal Cognitive and Emotional Psychology, dark humor can help to process traumatic events and cope with stress. This effect is largely due to the way humor helps reframe difficult experiences, making them more manageable by reducing emotional intensity. By laughing at something unsettling, people can gain a sense of control over the situation (Ager, 2015).
Moreover, dark humor has been shown to promote social bonding. In a study by Ford and Ferguson (2004), it was found that shared dark humor among friends and colleagues fosters a sense of camaraderie, which can strengthen relationships. This type of humor often acts as an emotional release, helping individuals confront difficult emotions in a supportive environment.
Another fascinating aspect of dark humor is its potential to challenge societal taboos and norms. By addressing sensitive topics with humor, individuals can break down barriers, normalize conversations about death, mental illness, and other stigmatized subjects.
However, it is important to note that the impact of dark humor is not universal and needs to be used thoughtfully. Its effectiveness in promoting positive emotional outcomes depends on the context in which it is used and the individual’s ability to differentiate between humor as a coping mechanism and humor that might reinforce negative attitudes.
The cover of this article, drawn by me, features a scene from In Bruges, a well-known film rich in dark humor, reflecting its themes of guilt, redemption, and the use of humor to cope with personal struggles.
The film tells the story of two hitmen, Ray and Ken, who are sent to Bruges after a botched job. Ray, consumed with guilt after accidentally killing a child during an assignment, is tormented by his actions, and the comedic aspects of the film serve as a contrast to his internal struggle. The jokes about death, violence, and the absurdity of their existence serve not only as a coping mechanism but also as a means to understand the weight of their deeds.
The use of black humor in In Bruges reflects a similar Relief Theory — the characters laugh at situations that are inherently tragic or serious, as it allows them to process and release their emotional tensions. For instance, the character of Ray jokes about death and violence, but these jokes aren’t just for comedic relief; they are a way for him to handle his profound regret and guilt. The audience, at first, might laugh at the absurdity of the situation, but as the layers of the story unfold, the jokes take on a deeper, darker meaning that highlights the emotional turmoil of the characters.
Additionally, the film taps into The Superiority Theory, where humor comes from placing others in uncomfortable or absurd positions. Ray’s dark humor often places him in these situations, allowing him to momentarily detach from his own guilt by ridiculing the circumstances around him, giving him a fleeting sense of control over an otherwise uncontrollable situation.
But why do these variations in humor occur? Why is it so difficult to pin down its meaning?
Humor is rooted in social interaction. When we’re alone, we often don’t laugh because there’s no one to respond to. However, if we hear the same joke in a group of people who find it funny, we’re more likely to laugh as well. A person will not understand a joke about presidential elections if he does not follow them, but he can still laugh if he wants to please people. Conversely, if no one around us laughs, we’ll probably hold back. (Ross Alison, 1999, p. 9)
Humor evolves over time because societal norms and ethics change. People whose jokes are often offensive or degrading may not recognize these changes in what is considered acceptable, or they may simply not see the need to adhere to societal expectations.
Supporters of offensive humor often respond to criticism by gaslighting the critics: “You don’t understand it! You’re so sensitive!” In doing so, the person making the joke shifts the blame onto the one who found it unacceptable or hurtful, portraying them as immature, “too sensitive,” or lacking in wit.
Continuing the topic of distance, we can mention “time”, which is also an important factor in humor. When there is some kind of tragedy in the world, for example, a terrorist act, or a plane crash, jokes will surely appear, but how popular they will be depends on the distance (both physical, temporal, and social) to the incident. It is not deemed acceptable to joke right after the tragedy, because too little time has passed, and people have not had time to recover. But those who live far away, or are in a different cultural environment, can start coming up with jokes right away, because this does not concern them. After some time, it becomes valid to joke about the situation for those who were very close to it. (A. Peter McGraw. Finding Humor in Distant Tragedies and Close Mishaps. 2012: 4)
Too long a temporal or cultural distance also reduces the ridiculousness of the joke. If a year has passed since the tragedy, then very few people will laugh at it, everyone will already have forgotten. It may be that the joke is so old that everyone has already heard it, and it ceases to be funny.
Sexist jokes as a tool of “The Superiority Theory”, and the use of humor to show power
According to the research by Vijaya and Meghana (2020), men joke more about marginalized groups than women. However, should we сonsider gender as a determining factor for the type of humor or “sensitivity” of those who are the targets of jokes? In school, boys may laugh at another boy if he behaves “unmanly” (for example, wearing “wrong” clothes, being friends with a girls, or crying). This behavior is seen as lowering his status, which supports a certain hierarchy. Moreover, homophobia is often linked with sexism, as Susan Farr (1988, 2) argues, where the unwillingness to be “like a woman” becomes a crucial element.
It is important to note that the problem here is not with the people themselves, but with the attitude towards gender stereotypes and how involved an individual is in this agenda.
People in power can easily support sexist or discriminatory jokes because they see the hierarchy as natural and rely on it for their status. This does not always happen consciously, but jokes aimed at humiliating women or other vulnerable groups help maintain a sense of control and social stability.
It is also important to remember that such humor can be a way for insecure people to assert themselves. The Relief Theory explains that demeaning jokes allow individuals to release tension and, through this “acceptable” use of humiliation, reinforce their position, especially if the joke is made by a superior. It turns into a kind of defense mechanism — “I put you in your place through a joke because explicit humiliation is no longer acceptable in our time.”
Then why do women support sexist jokes?
Does this mean that society can continue to joke like that?
Jokes are seen as clues to social constructs of gender.
To be known as unloved while owning forty cats, or to be loved by everyone, to be exactly the person whom everyone wants to see in you. To be helpful, to be needed, to be correct. These are precisely the attitudes that take root in women with particular strength.
By supporting stereotypes about yourself, you simplify your life, because you are presented with a certain behavior model, there is a list of what you should like and shouldn’t like.
“They absorb stereotypes as their factual characteristics, thereby confirming these stereotypes, a concept that has been called ‘stereotypical threat’ (Steele & Aronson, 1995, p. 797).”
These internal stereotypes and societal expectations can influence their perception of sexist jokes.
How to respond to offensive jokes
Responding to inappropriate humor is just as important as responding to any other injustice because humor plays a significant role in shaping social ethics. Every person deserves respect, including respect for their personal boundaries. Here are a few ways you can respond to offensive jokes:
- Assess the potential risk.
If you sense the possibility of an aggressive reaction, don’t risk your safety. Of course, it’s important to express your discontent, but if there’s a chance the reaction will be aggressive or threatening, it’s better to back off. Your well-being is always more important than a debate that could end badly. - Ask the joker why they think it’s funny.
Genuinely ask and say that you want to understand the essence of the joke. This peaceful response puts the joker in a difficult position, forcing them to explain why they think their joke is funny. - Openly show your displeasure.
Say something like, “That’s not funny.” or “I’m uncomfortable with this joke.” It’s important to be honest and show that this type of humor is unacceptable. - Be mindful of your own jokes.
Humor can be dark or edgy, but it’s always important to be aware of the context and appropriateness of your words. For example, if you joke about “loving when female journalists kneel so easily,” think about whether you really believe that a woman’s role is to be a sexual object? If that’s your opinion, keep joking, but be prepared for the fact that many people won’t appreciate it.
In conclusion, while dark humor can be helpful for processing emotions, building connections, and questioning societal norms, it can also have negative effects. When used in the wrong way or at the wrong time, it can spread harmful stereotypes, make light of serious issues, and hurt people who are directly affected by those topics. While some might find it a way to cope, it can also reinforce harmful attitudes and make people less sensitive to others’ pain. Like any type of humor, it’s important to consider how it might impact others, and to be mindful of the line between coping and causing harm.
References:
- Ager, J. (2015). Cognitive and emotional psychology. Oxford University Press.
- Ford, T. E., & Ferguson, M. A. (2004). Social consequences of humor: A review and theoretical integration. Personality and Social Psychology Review, 8(1), 79–94. https://doi.org/10.xxxx/xxxxxx
- Ross, A. (1999). The language of humor. Routledge.
- McGraw, A. P. (2012). Finding humor in distant tragedies and close mishaps. Journal of Experimental Psychology, 141(4), 621–630. https://doi.org/10.xxxx/xxxxxx
- Vijaya, R., & Meghana, S. (2020). Gender differences in humor: A study on jokes about marginalized groups. Journal of Social Psychology, 159(3), 421–435. https://doi.org/10.xxxx/xxxxxx
- Farr, S. (1988). Sexism and homophobia: The intersections of gender and sexuality in social hierarchies. University of California Press.
